iloveyou goodbye

I almost believed in destiny when you came back in to my life... It's just like a dream come true and hoping that I won't wake up in to that dream. But a dream is a dream, I have to face the fact that there's no such permanent in this world and I have to let go of my feelings... I'm actually going there... finally accepted the fact that you we're never meant for me, but why are you always like that? why do you always makes me suffer? The moment that i've managed my feelings and know that you're not there anymore then you'll come back in to my life again!!! If you don't intend to stay forever in my life then just help me let go of my feelings...

There is no sense holding into someone like you who always makes my life miserable. I wonder why I loved a man who's life is so misdirected with his ways, a coward to face the consequences that comes along with every decision he made. There are many questions you left unanswered but I guess i'll leave it that way because that's what you wanted, right?? you always wanted an easy way out.. running away and who is afraid to face the challenges that comes along.

Just help me let go of my feelings, don't wanna live my life in to your cold world, I love you and will always will but you're always pushing me away, I don't wanna be your friend anymore let's just live the way that we don't know each other.

Wish you good life and alittle sad cause I won't be there anymore for you and we can't share whatever success we'll have but it's okay knowing that there's someone new in to your life [eventhough you don't admit] but I can sense that you like her. Good Luck and will miss. iloveyou goodbye

aubrey

my stupid pride

I can't hate you... I just can't... I tried but I can't, maybe it's because it's also my fault why it didn't work between the two of us. I'm sorry, I don't know how to show my emotions, I loved you, I'd always loved you for 11 years, but i'm just afraid to show it to you, I don't know why but i'm just afraid. Other's said that it's my pride that's holding my feeling back but for me it's not pride, i'm just not used to show my real emotions, I can't even expressed what I really feel. I know I made you confused sometimes and i'm sorry. Seeing you happy with this "girl" really broke me apart but what can I do?? Her personality is really opposite from mine, she is too bubbly and i'm not. It really tears me apart knowing that you are not mine anymore. I thought this will still work out at the right time and we just needs time and space, and i'm contented to have as my special friend because of the hope that keeps me holding on... But now, I wanna deny it to myself that you are happy with her and that you are not mine anymore, but reality really bites........

finally, i've decided to let go of my feelings, I know it's hard but i'll really try........ help me let go of you...

for you:

I don't want to see your face
I don't want to hear your name
I don't want a thing
Just stay away baby
Don't wanna know if you're alright
Or what you're doin' with your life
Don't wanna hear that you'll stay in touch maybe

I'll get by just fine
So if you're goin' then darlin' goodbye, goodbye

Don't call me in the middle of the night no more
Don't expect me to be there
Don't think that it will be the way it was before
I'm not over you yet
And i don't think i care
And i don't want to be your friend

I'll forget we ever met
I'll forget i ever let
Ever let you into this heart of mine baby
You just gotta let me be
You gotta keep away from me
'cause all i want to be is just free of you baby
Don't you come around
And say you still care about me
Go now, go now

Don't call me in the middle of the night...

You take it casually, and thats what's killing me
I'll get by just fine
So if you're goin' then darlin' goodbye, goodbye

Don't call me in the middle of the night no more
Don't expect me to be there
Don't think that it will be the way it was before
No, no baby
Don't call me in the middle of the night no more
I don't want to be your friend
Don't think that it will be the way it was before
I don't want to be your friend...

untitled

Didn't mean to hurt you badly, Don't think that I am fooling around with you. So sorry for the time you've wasted on me, So sorry for the things that you've went thru. But I know that the problem's with me, You're so nice but your love don't deserve me Or maybe I'm just so scared to fall in love again.

I can still remember the days, how many times I've been hurt, So much trust I put on a relationship, So much suffering I've got and the pain still remain. You know I like you but I don't wanna take the risk So confused and I don't know how to deal with it Need sometime for awhile before I give my heart away...

Don't say goodbye, I need sometime for awhile before I give my heart away

Now I know I wasn't thinking before That's why I'm always ending up with Mr. Wrong
Learning form the past, don't wanna make mistake, You could be Mr. Right or could be fake
You know I like you but I don't wanna take the risk So confused and I don't know how to deal with it Need sometime for awhile before I give my heart away

Don't say goodbye... I need sometime for awhile before I give my heart away

you taught me how to hate you...

We've been friends for quite awhile, just wondering why suddenly decided to be part of my life more than a friend?? Isn't our friendship not enough?? Why make things complicated between us?? We were okay and i'm happy to have a good friend like you. But you still insisted, I was afraid but you gave me assurance and now, what happened?? what have you done?? I tried to work things out but it could not work coz suddenly you're pushing me away without any explanation. I can't understand you, my life was okay before we decided to try but why suddenly changed?? Did you plan this? Are you happy now that you made my life miserable?? I don't wanna hate you but you gave me reasons to and you taught me how to a hate you. You could have think of a better and most valid alibi than say that lousy alibi... I would understand, you know me. But what you've done was very unforgivable. You just broke our friendship and my heart. And i'm very stupid that I trusted you...

Lesson learn: Never go beyond your friendship if you're not sure what you're going in to...

journey

It's a long long journey
Till I know where I'm supposed to be
It's a long long journey
And I don't know if can believe
When shadows fall and block my eyes
I am lost and know that I must hide
It's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you

Many days I've spent drifting on Through empty shores
Wondering what's my purpose
wondering how to make me strong
I know I will falter , I know I will cry
And I need to be close to you

Sometimes it feels no one understand
I don't even know why I do the things I do
when prides builds me up till I can't see my soul
Will you break down this walls and pull me through

Cause it's a long long journey
till I feel that I'm worth the price
You paid for me on Calvary
beneath those stormy skies

When satan mocks and friends turn to foes
It feels like everything is out to make me lose control
It's a long long journey
Till i find my way home to you...to you

aubrey

insane???

insanity or madness is the behaviour whereby a person flouts societal norms and becomes a danger to himself and others. Greek tragedies and Shakespeare often refer to madness in this sense. Psychologically, it is a general popular and legal term defining behaviour influenced by mental instability. It is defined by the Merriam-Webster dictionary as a deranged state of the mind or lack of understanding. Today, it is most commonly encountered as an informal term or in the narrow legal context of the insanity defense, and in the medical profession the term is now avoided in favour of specific diagnoses of mental illness as schizophrenia and other psychotic disorders. "Psychopathology" is also considered a preferred descriptor. When discussing mental illness in general terms, "

Insanity is no longer considered a medical diagnosis but is a legal term in the United States, stemming from its original use in common law.The disorders formerly encompassed by the term covered a wide range of mental disorders now diagnosed as organic brain syndromes, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder and other psychotic disorders.

Feigned insanity is the simulation of mental illness in order to avoid or lessen the consequences of a confrontation or conviction for an alleged crime.

i'm stupid, right???

it's been 11 years but still i can't let go... why do i still live in your world??? why can't i let go of our past??? sometimes being with you even just a friend seems to be okay than not having you at all, but sometimes, it breaks me in to pieces... an ex-lover, a good friend, a buddy, seems to be enough than nothing but why can't i be contented with that??? why do i still hope for the impossible things to happen?? i tried to be happy with someone but i can't dare to let them in into my life, instead it end up hurting them just as how i felt... i don't want to give them false hopes even some are willing to sacrificed and wait but i still can't fool myself cause every time i look at them all i see you. see how stupid i am??? sometimes, i'm thinking to do foolish things just to hear you say that you love again, but i know it'll only be in my dreams, a dream that i don't wanna wake up forever... and it'll be a long, long journey for me till i find my way back home without you anymore... hope time comes, i can............................... (can't continue now, i feel insane)